An Ultimate Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows
Personal Wedding Vows
As a wedding celebrant, I’ve had the privilege of watching countless couples exchange their own, bespoke and heartfelt wedding vows with their one true love, during their celebrant wedding ceremony.
Being able to write you own wedding vows in your wedding ceremony is a real luxury of a celebrant wedding ceremony. Truthfully, it’s my favourite part of a wedding ceremony.
Celebrant wedding at Hazel Gap Barn, Nottinghamshire
No matter the sentiment, the style or content, wedding vows which are written from the heart will always have impact; landing joyously in the hearts of your wedding guests.
But when it comes to writing your personal wedding vows, you might wonder where to begin? You might question if you can even include your own vows in your wedding ceremony and what does a celebrant wedding ceremony actually mean?
Vows in a Celebrant Ceremony
When it comes to wedding vows, there is a real variation in the type of vows you can expect depending on where you get married.
If you are religious and choose to have your ceremony officiated in a religious building, you can expect to recite traditional vows synonymous with your particular religion.
If you have a registrar officiate your ceremony, then again, you are restricted to the limited formal wording authorised by your registry office and registrar.
When you choose a celebrant to officiate your wedding ceremony you have the freedom to curate a ceremony which feels more personal and celebrates your love story in a completely unique way. A wonderful way to honour your commitment to one another is to include vows you’ve written yourself.
Typically, I encourage you to share your personal vows after your beautiful ring exchange, when you’re standing together hand in hand in front of your family and friends, shortly before you share your first kiss as husband and wife.
Hannah Brook Photography
Your personal wedding vows become a key moment in your wedding ceremony evoking connection and deep emotion from all of your loved ones who have the privilege of hearing them. And there’s absolutely no doubt your vows enable you to express your true feelings in the most authentic way possible and on one of the most important days of your life. At the moment you exchange your vows, it will literally feel as if time has stood still.
How to start writing your wedding vows
The thought of writing wedding vows, for some people, is a daunting one! I really do understand that.
Maybe you don’t consider yourself overly romantic or particularly ‘gushing.’ Even as your wedding celebrant, I tend to steer away from overly sickly and corny sentiments. Actually though, wedding vows can be so much more than that and even for the more reserved of us, writing your own wedding vows can be a surprisingly joyous experience.
Where to start though?
Well, remember that the purpose of your wedding vows is to pledge your love, promises and commitment to one another.
My advice- think back to the beginning and tell a little story. Where you started and how far you have come. You don’t have to make your wedding vows over-complicated or lengthy, if in doubt, keep it simple.
Most of my couples normally share a sentence of two about how their partner inspires them and what they really love about each other, then they finish with some promises; how you promise to move forward together and prioritise your relationship in the future.
And absolutely, don’t feel you need to shy away from silliness and fun-making your other half laugh with your vows is brilliant fun.
Celebrant wedding at Hazel Gap Barn, Nottinghamshire
That said, everyone loves a bit of emotion. When the sentiment is authentic and heartfelt, you can expect tears to flow from someone (and I’ll probably be clenching my jaw tightly at this point to maintain my own composure!). Embrace this; it’s the reason you are standing there with your loved one, in front of all your family and friends.
If you can, keep them a secret from each other, that’s also great. The surprise on the wedding day is one you won’t forget. Above all, keep it authentic to you. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or put on a show; be genuine and sincere and try to enjoy it.
Overall, writing wedding vows can be a beautiful and personal way to express your love and commitment to your partner. Here are some steps to help you write your own wedding vows:
A Step by Step Guide to Writing Your Vows
Reflect on your relationship: Take some time to think about your relationship with your partner. What do you love about them? What qualities do they possess that make them special to you? What experiences have you shared that have brought you closer together? These reflections will provide the foundation for your vows.
Decide on the tone and style: Do you want your vows to be funny, heartfelt, traditional, or modern? Consider the tone and style that would best represent you as a couple.
Start with a rough draft: Begin by writing down your thoughts and feelings about your partner. Write as though you are speaking directly to them. Don't worry too much about making it perfect, just let your words flow.
Edit and refine: Once you have a rough draft, read it out loud and make any necessary edits. Refine your vows until they accurately express your feelings and intentions.
Practice delivering your vows: Practice delivering your vows out loud until you feel comfortable with the phrasing and pacing. This will help you feel more confident if you choose to recite them during the wedding ceremony.
Consider incorporating a promise or commitment: Wedding vows often include promises or commitments to each other. Consider including a statement of what you promise to do for your partner or how you will support them in your life together.
Keep it personal and authentic: Remember that your wedding vows should be personal and authentic. Don't try to imitate someone else's style or use words that don't feel true to you.
Photo Credit Hannah Brook Photography
How can I help with your Vows?
When I officiate your ceremony, I offer you all of my advice, support and guidance on all elements of the ceremony and this includes supporting you with your wedding vows, should you wish to include them.
In the early stages of our planning journey, I’ll send your a questionnaire to fill out about you and your love story. Some of these questions have your vows in mind so without realising it, when you fill out the answers you’ll already be laying down the foundations of your wedding vows too.
Once your questionnaire is completed, I will organise a planning meetings. If you need advice on your vows, we may well organise a meeting or zoom devoted specifically to writing your vows.
I can guide you with the writing process and make it a fun and rewarding experience.
On the day, you might not feel confident to read your vows and that’s absolutely fine. Let me take the lead and I can read them for you. Alternatively, you may want to read a couple of sentences and then answer some promises which I will ask of you.
If writing wedding vows still feels challenging-I can write them for you. We can review and edit as many times as necessary. This is a two-way process and you very much are in charge; your wedding ceremony done your way.
I’m just privileged to tell your story.
Photo credit: Hannah Brook Photography
“There aren’t enough stars to give for how fabulous Michelle is! I would give her 100/5 if possible.
I found Michelle through Instagram when my (now husband!) and I decided we wanted to have a more personal, meaningful wedding ceremony than the same generic script used by registrars across the country. This was really important to us as we had been in a relationship for 13 years to the day when we got married (25/05/2025) and so it needed to be extra special!
From the moment we came across Michelle’s information we had a good vibe from her, then when we met for an initial call to see how we got on, we knew she was the person for us! Luckily, she had our date free and was happy to help us out.
Michelle took a real interest in getting to know about us and our story, be it through questionnaires tailored to us specifically, meeting with us in person to chat, or back and forth conversations through email. We really felt that Michelle cared and knew we were in safe hands!
When Michelle did the read through of our wedding script with us, we were absolutely blown away. We didn’t realise quite how “us” it would be and so many personal details that we had shared with her were included. To be able to keep this as a memory forever means a lot to us both.
On the day of our wedding Michelle arrived super early and was there for my husband to calm him down - she also did a great job of keeping everyone else calm whilst I was running late due to some unforeseen issues. Then when it came to the service, it was even BETTER than what we had remembered. Our guests absolutely loved it, with many saying it was, hands down, the best wedding ceremony they have ever attended and they couldn’t believe that we hadn’t know Michelle for years beforehand - that’s how well she got to know us!
Michelle also worked with my husband to make some edits to the ceremony which were kept as a surprise from me until the day. This included some wording around the ring exchange to something that meant something to the two of us, as well as helping to keep the biggest secret of all - that my husband was going to be taking my surname! My husband has since told me how supportive Michelle had been when he was stressing out about keeping such a big secret, reassuring him and helping him to figure out the best way to reveal the surprise. This all made it even more special and meaningful for us on the day.
Also, Michelle printed out our vows, readings for the readers, and gave us a copy of the script to keep (along with something else extra special which we will treasure forever!).
If you are looking for someone who will truly help to ensure your wedding day is one of the best days of your life, then I cannot think of anyone better. Wishing we had another excuse to continue working with Michelle now it’s all over....perhaps a vow renewal!?!!??!!
Seriously though, from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU! What an absolute gem of a human being you are Michelle! Mr and Mrs Bennett <3”
